When tragedy strikes and a trauma shakes our world we have no idea how we are going to react, how we will cope, how we will prevail.
The mind is the most powerful tool we possess; it’s our control centre for all of our thoughts and actions, it’s our datacentre, where we manage all of the information we are consuming and trying to make sense of.
Life can be hard at times, but it can also be beautiful and easy. From the moment we are born, the interactions that we have with others shapes our view of the world and it impacts our take on how we should react in different situations. Even as adults we are affected by the experiences, advice and shared knowledge of others.
So how do we maintain, how do we protect and secure the safe space that is our minds, where our thoughts originate and where we build our perception of ourselves, others and the world around us?
For me, this is an on-going journey; at times a trip down memory lane that has, at times, uncovered some very un-helpful thinking techniques that I have nurtured as I have navigated the sometimes extremely weather beaten landscape of my life. Other times, it has been an enlightening experience of understanding how clever and complex my brain actually is and the true potential for greatness that lays before me as I harness a few life changes and thought management techniques.
My story is probably no different to many others out there, having experienced some pretty major life traumas. During my short existence on this planet (I’ve celebrated my 21st birthday several times) I have experienced some pretty scary events, during the last 5 years I was physically assaulted, both my parents had cancer, during the birth of my babies (literally hours after major surgery with premature twins). I suffered a bell’s palsy and post op infection and, as I overcame all of these adversities and finally thought I was managing my mental health (not needing any help from anyone else as I was a 'Super Woman' in the making!), I then became a single mother; holding down a job in the city whilst aiming to be the very best at absolutely everything I did. I guess like many people struggling with un-diagnosed PTSD, stress and or depression, something was going to give.
I learnt more recently that automatic thoughts can be based on words spoken, a memory, a physical sensation or based on ‘intuition’ – where we just sense that we ‘know’ what is going to happen next (something I have been extremely guilty of whilst staring into my crystal ball and stroking my black cat).
We tend to automatically believe our thoughts without stopping to question their validity.
For example: The driver that cut me up during the school run this morning, he was an utter useless tw*t with no regard for my children's safety, OR…. was he in fact a first time dad, nervously rushing his very pregnant wife who has gone into premature labour to hospital and let’s face it in light of everything going on recently none of us particularly want to go there do we. Thoughts are not always true, accurate or helpful!
We are all guilty of having these thoughts and then reacting how we see fit, based on what our extremely efficient control centre our brain!
Having worked in IT for many years, I have interacted with some extremely talented individuals who have risen to the very top of their game and for decades have faced unmanageable stress, depression or even PTSD and not even known about it, cared about it or had the time for it until it became a problem with consequences. We all have unhelpful thinking habits which over time goes un-noticed, accepted or just integrated into our personality types, almost justifying them and perhaps not even realising what impact they may have.
Personally, I took the view that if I sought help, went on a course of CBT, did mindfulness etc. I would be judged (an unhelpful thinking habit I gained as a teenager and carried into my adult life) and I genuinely believed that people would think I was unfit to fulfil my career challenges or develop long-lasting relationships in business (how the hell did I know what others were going to think and that crystal ball definitely had a fault).
However, I have found that over the last few months practicing mindfulness and undergoing a course of CBT has strengthened my resolve. I am better positioned to align myself with the leaders of this world that I have long respected and developed mutually respectful relationships with over the last few years and progress a future for myself and my daughters which is bright.
CBT and Mindfulness are not tools which need to be doctor referred, they are useful methods and practical techniques which you can integrate into both your personal life and corporate environment to create better relationships all round. Take a look at this article written by Nancy Priest https://www.trainingjournal.com/articles/features/mindfulness-business
We all need to challenge, innovate, and think differently in today’s world we need to be real ‘authentic’ and ‘genuine’ in our interactions whether that is with our family, friends, peers or importantly, our prospects and customers!
I am lucky to have found Origin Growth www.originblurbs.com, who have embraced me.
Helping me to think deeper about my personal brand 'who am I to the people I connect with digitally' I have realised that the personal interactions, how I get under others skin and if they trust me is one of the most important aspects of why I do what I do.
If any part of my blog resonates with you, if you too would like to have deeper more meaningful connections digitally or want your sales teams to harness a more productive way of connecting with your audiences, then I would love to share more with you about the work Origin are doing with their customers.
Or if you just want to say hello, let me know how you are and please drop me a message.
Thank you for taking time to read my blog it can be quite nerve wracking to reveal the personal and business challenges one faces to the greater world, but I hope it helps others to know they are not alone.
To find out more, please email me at [email protected] or call me on 07537 854470 to discuss your social selling strategy.